Why is This Fun, Again?

Looking for the post Sifu Brown recommended about internal retreat?  Click here for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 of "What Are Your Rocks?"


If you're looking for an upbeat post, this won't be it.  But it will be "barefoot".  Honest. Raw.

Packing and unpacking are jobs I'm not good at delegating!

Home again after a weekend away.  Oh, how nice, you got away for the weekend?  That's what we're supposed to say, and that's how we're supposed to view the mini vacay, as a break.

Laughable!  

I think lots more people feel like I do about "getting away" than care to admit it.  I'm feeling guilty myself, making a record that I don't enjoy it.  How dare I be ungrateful, right?  Hey, stop right there, because it's not that I'm ungrateful!  It's just NOT my thing.

It takes me THREE days to prep getting ready to "get away" for TWO.  That's primarily because I'm squeezing extra chores in the small spaces here and there in my days, which are few and far between.  Extra loads of laundry (have to bring sheets and towels and everyone's favorite clothes appropriate for the wild changes in temperature we have up north), planning out food, buying food, prepping food, cleaning out coolers, getting everything done that I would've done on the weekend, etc.  It's not TONS of work, but trying to fit it in to already full days becomes challenging and hectic.

Juggling all I feel I must do to be a successful
mother and a well-rounded person as well.

So there's the chaos and home, the packing, the timing (we're always running late), and we finally reach our destination and then there's the unpacking, the organizing, the socializing.  We are all falling over each other in the small space four adult-sized people share (staying on a sailboat is sort of like camping), and the lack of privacy is something I have to breathe through all weekend, smoothing the edge off my irritability.  We crawl in for our poor night's sleep on an odd-sized bed with thin mattresses which make my shoulders, neck, back, and hips ache.  I've figured out a way to minimize the discomfort by surrounding myself with pillows, but it's awkward and sloppy with all those things in the bed, and a poor substitute for my comfy bed at home.

Please pick up after yourself!

There's not much to do on the boat.  Keeping it clean isn't that demanding.  I do have to constantly remind everyone to not leave things out, though.  It makes me feel like such a nag, but I'm even more crabby if there are books, pencils, headphones, drinks, baseball caps, and shoes laying all over our small space.  So I nag.  Maybe one day I won't have to constantly remind everyone, but this is our third year, so I'm not going to hold my breath (yes, that's a breathing reference!).  

So anyway, not having a lot to do means all kinds of time for my leisure, like reading, knitting, writing, napping, right?  Well, not really....it's hard to get comfortable on the boat.  There aren't cushioned shaded areas outside, like on a powerboat, but I can arrange a few floatation cushions to pad a seat for myself.  That's sometimes a nice time reading.  However, there are so many interruptions, it's hardly worth my effort.  The dog's needs, the kids' questions, my husband's activity, and of course taking the boat out on the water.  I can't read on the water generally because I'll either get seasick or I feel guilty for leaving my husband to sail solo.  Knitting doesn't work on the boat.  It's too hot, takes up too much room, and again, I don't have large chunks of time.  

Not us, thank goodness, but this is what it feels
like we're on the verge of,  often, LOL!

Sailing is often very nice, but if the wind is high, I'm not relaxed.  I'm nervous we're going to slap the water, flip, bury the nose, get caught in foul weather, lose someone (or dog) overboard, hit submerged objects, or any number of things.  My husband likes a much more "spirited" sail than I do, so I'm always holding him back, and he's always disappointed, or he ignores me flat out, and I am upset and this doesn't end well.  If the wind is low, I often have a very nice time, especially if the sun is out.  This happens a few times a year.

I do enjoy anchoring out off the State Park and hanging around and hopefully going for a swim, but the water is so cold, only late July and August are feasible for swimming, and the past two times we've been anchored out, we've had to come in after an hour for foul weather threats.

These are the squishy bugs which get smeared all over your
skin and clothes.  They come in swarms and don't taste good.
We find the best way to get rid of them is swamping the cockpit
with buckets of water.  Sailboats are made to drain water beautifully.
It's great when you have no opportunity for a shower and have to crawl
into bed buggy.  Sponge baths help, but still, you don't feel fully clean.

I haven't even mentioned the bugs on the water (tiny gnats by the millions, fish flies, giant water bugs, spiders galore, biting flies).  You just get used to having smashed bug parts stuck to your legs and clothes.  As you can guess, I'm not a camper, either!

Eating meals is always somewhat of a hassle.  Cooking on the boat is cumbersome, and Greg likes to cook on the grill in the marina, so we usually pack meat things, which we all love.  However, I miss the pleasure of a full, well-rounded meal at home and tire quickly of steaks, burgers, brats, dogs.  If I want more varied, delicious meals, I need to prep more at home, which requires more time getting ready.  This usually doesn't happen, so our side dish is usually chips.  :(   Mommy fail.

Coffee time is great at the boat.  Greg and I really enjoy going upstairs in the club and looking out over the bay as we sip a couple cups of coffee each.  

After a second night sleeping on the boat, I'm more creaky and sore.  That's ok, though...but I'm looking forward to my bed at home even more!

The thing is, except for perfect sailing conditions, I really don't enjoy being on the boat much.  I have so much to do at home, I would actually feel more relaxed if I could work around the house for a while, then do something recreational at home.  Being gone for the weekend means busier, more hectic weeks at home, which to me is not worth the sacrifice of getting away.  Yes, I do enjoy being with my family, but I also feel we have quality family time at home playing games, watching movies, visiting family/friends, etc.  On the boat, I get so crabby because my personal space is invaded without escape, and then our family time isn't very good (my fault)!  I do try to combat the crabbiness like crazy, but it just can't compare to the relaxation and joy I feel being home.  

Me, enjoying a light air sail with Lucy
cuddling on Father's Day 2015

I tried so hard this weekend away to be joyful and grateful and content and easy-going, and tonight, Sunday night, a few hours after being home, I felt the repressed frustrations all bubbling up.  I cooked a nice meal that nobody wanted to eat, I got very irritated with my husband for an emotional issue he really handled wrong, and I had the Sunday blues, where you realize the weekend is gone and your work has just piled up more.  I had a mound of bags to unpack and loads of laundry to wash, too.  Plus my pent-up claustrophobic feelings!

Bottom line?  I am so happy staying home, I need nothing more.  However, my children enjoy going to the boat (few chores and lots of time to read, swim in the pool, sleep), and my husband NEEDS to go there for his sanity.  The water is very soothing to him and because he is a busybody, 

See how happy he is?
It makes it all worth it.  I just have to not be crabby.
More self-mastery to learn!

handling a sailboat keeps him moving and on his toes in a very peaceful setting.   So, I go and I put on a happy face, and I just need to work harder at keeping peace internally, despite being trapped in a situation I am unhappy in.  This is what we do for our families!

Let's just be thankful the boating season in Michigan is only April - October.  ;)