There are so many moments when I am completely full of bliss lately, and I wonder if I could possibly feel any more happiness. Today I broke the ceiling on my happiness, and I realized that once your internal limit is reached, you can expand beyond your own experience and share in others' happiness. When your own dreams are fulfilled, you can appreciate participating in the other side of another's dreams, helping them to fulfill theirs.
This beautiful realization showed itself to me in so many ways today. I saw it with nearly everything I did. Today is my 36th birthday, but instead of feeling self-centered, it felt other-centered. I saw the many small, sometimes miniscule, roles which I play in the realization of others' dreams. I lived my life today on the other side of a dream.
Have you ever had one of those moments where you are so full of gratitude for another that you have a hard time expressing it, while at the same time, the other person is expressing the same thing to you? These times of gracious duality are so beautiful! This is when our life is completely synchronous with other being's, and the depth of our unity so simply expressed is awe-inspiring. In those moments, don't you feel some great sense of satisfaction...that this is what we're aspiring towards? That this is how life can unfold in every moment?
Tonight, for instance. I had the most incredible meal of my life, truly. Were I to go into all of the details, I would probably lose your interest, because what's perfect and meaningful to me might not mean the same to you, but I must share the formula. In its reduced form, the formula looks much like the "Field of Dreams" movie, where "If you build it, they will come." A man had a dream, a talent, a purpose, and drive. He made the dream happen with the faith that the other reagents in the formula would appear...which is where I come in. I simply had a vision coupled with a desire. Mine was not a creative vision, as his was. Mine was a desire for an experience. Together, and only together, our synergy resulted in both a tangible means (for us, a meal, for him, money), and a spiritual result--the dualistic gratitude mentioned above. I was fawning over the experience his restaurant provided my family, while he was humbly grateful for the patronage.
My part is small in the fulfillment of this man's dream. However, I played small roles in the manifestation of many dreams today. For example, I would not even be in NYC were it not for the inception and realization of Mrs. Sweetapple's dream of creating the Sweetapple Performance Company. NY OnStage I'm sure began with a dream, and is now fulfilling this national competition which we are participating in. We couldn't be enjoying this space that the Sheriton is providing us here in Midtown, were it not for the dream of its founder. The wonders of NYC itself are multitudinous and tremendous.
Every step I'm taking in Manhattan, I'm realizing the wondrous fulfillment of so many dreams. Dreams that could not manifest without the participation of others. Is this not great testimony to our oneness?
I find it so ironic that this small-town country girl who dreams about homesteading and sustainable living can find so much revelation about unity in this hustle-and-bustle metropolis. Yet a profound sense of unity it is that courses through my veins right now, and has inspired me to write this blog.
As I previously mentioned, the formula for realizing a dream had two components--the tangible and the spiritual, I think that this short span of time in New York City has provided the witness to the tangible aspect of unity that I previously missed, as I had focused so much on the spiritual.
Again, I am so grateful that the city has provided me this new perspective on oneness, and I hope this is one of those cases where the city is thankful to me for some contribution I made to it, which I can't begin to guess. Perhaps it's this blog? Perhaps it's in the bright smile I share with others I see throughout the day--the taxi drivers, the pedestrians, the service workers...maybe my small doses of sincere radiance which seep out of my heart through my words and actions are miniscule when taken as a single moment, but perhaps I'm again contributing to a much larger panorama, placing one bean on the "good" side of the scale for each individual beam of light.
I love NY. I am grateful to all those who identified their talents, recognized a need, formed a dream, and made it real. The wonder of this city is immense. Everything from the mundane water and sewer systems to the glamour of Broadway to the simple pleasures in the Greenmarket to the symbolism of the Statue of Liberty to a simple pastrami sandwich cause me reverence.
This is what it feels to me to be in the heart of America--the heart of its soul. I am still completely in love with small, rural farms, intimate communities, deep forests, natural wonders, and other components of this wildly diverse human experience, but I cannot ignore the pulse and vibrancy of this tremendous city, SO unlike any other city I've traveled to. I wish I could express the vibe that I've tuned into, but I'm still sorting through it myself. I can say that it's swept me off my feet, and I can't seem to wipe the perma-grin from my face. :D
Heart and soul,
Julie
