For a while I thought I would have a bunch of different blogs, each one carrying through a particular theme, but I've come to the realization that I pretty much blog for me and me alone anyway, and also so many of my life's themes overlap, that this "barefoot journey" would be such an incomplete picture of me and who I am without all the random thoughts.
You know what the crazy part is? I'm beginning to believe that the thoughts aren't so random. In fact, I believe that the "barefoot journey" title absolutely sums it up. If anything, I live my life barefoot. Naked. I'm tactile-y trudging down my path, feeling every stone, every branch, and sometimes picking bugs off the bottoms of my feet. (Yes, I actually did this the other day...my foot was on a table and my husband said, "Is that a spider stuck to the bottom of your foot???" Hence, the heebie-jeebies began as I made wimpy, flicking motions to remove the big, black, hairy corpse as strange sounds came out of my mouth resembling a ghost trying to fight off an impending sneeze).
Yes, a barefoot journey perfectly describes my life. I speak openly--both to my benefit and demise. I wear my heart on my sleeve. At times my search for knowledge, enlightenment, and idealism reminds me of a bohemian wanderer. And, in a more shallowly, or perhaps literal, way, I hate to accessorize.
Barefoot I am.
Tonight, my barefeet are walking on hot coals. The coals represent the great amount of trouble I can get myself into...if I don't tread lightly, I will be severly burned.
My mother-in-law (henceforth referred to as my "MIL") is gravely ill, and I find myself in this strange position of having strong opinions and no one really caring what my opinion is. I keep justifying sticking my nose in by rationalizing that my husband agrees with me wholeheartedly, but he's afraid to stick up for his own ideas against his siblings. He's got a case of the-left-out-sibling because he's very much younger than the closest sibling, being a twilight surprise for his parents. It's as if they raised the other four children, then raised Greg. There are the "family photos" of the other kids growing up, going camping, taking vacations...and none contain him. This has made him feel quite lonely where family dynamics are concerned, so this is where I come in, knowing how he feels about a subject, and flapping my trap to be his voice, and getting myself frustrated and probably alienated.
Hot coals. Will I tread lightly over them and end up unscathed, or will I stomp my barefeet too heavily and end up in the same place, but scarred (alienated) forever after???
