Here's the first installment of "Strange Scenes." It's a baffling world we live in!
Driving my usual Monday route, usual time. Zipping along, listening to my typical 80's radio station, barely noticing the same scenery out the windows...
...until my brain registers something different. Something wrong! Like one of those activities in children's magazines where you have to find all the mistakes in the drawing, except this was very real!
Of course, driving 50 miles an hour, down a curvy road, I was past it and had rounded a corner before I really had a chance to assess what in the world was going on! All I can say is that it was a man running down the sidewalk...with a cat on his back.
Yes, a cat on his back. Not a cat-in-a-backpack-riding-on-his-back, nor a cat-in-a-baby-carrier-riding-on-his-back...but a cat clinging to his shoulders and back for dear life, looking quite uncomfortable with the situation, nails dug into the man's T-shirt. Nope, not a rugged canvas coat, but a thin T-shirt. There's no way this man didn't feel this feline's claws digging in.
What in the world was happening???? I have a few scenarios, although none of them seem very likely:
1. Man was jogging along, minding his own business, and cat-who-has-seen-too-much-Animal-Planet jumps out of tree onto man's back, hoping for some dinner. After all, the man was running alone, so shouldn't he be easy prey, away from his pack? Perhaps what I DIDN'T see were the assortment of other cats hiding along the path, ready to help take down the victim?
2. Man and cat are fleeing from fire.
3. Man attempted to give cat a bath, cat took to highest ground (man's shoulders), and man took off running for help.
4. Man really wanted a dog, but wife/girlfriend would not allow it, as it would stress poor kitty out, therefore man attempts to take cat jogging, trying to have cat fill the place of his dream dog. Cat would not cooperate, so man attempted holding cat while he jogged, but cat freaked out and squirmed up onto his shoulder. Man is too stubborn to accept defeat and tolerates nails in his skin, and will later tell wife/girlfriend what a great idea it was that he had. Wife/girlfriend will find scratches on man's back, and will promptly end relationship, assuming he's having an affair. Man then buys dog.
5. Man was taking a leisurely stroll with his parakeet on his shoulder, cat attacked parakeet from its tree perch.
6. Man is trying to train cat to ride on his shoulder while jogging so he can be famous on YouTube.
7. Jogging is very difficult and painful for man, therefore man brings clinging-cat-with-sharp-claws to inflict constant pain on him, hence distracting him from the pain of his running.
8. There was no man, there was no cat, and all my exercise lately is causing me to hallucinate.
Which of my options do you think matched the reality? Or do you perhaps have another suggested scenario of your own? Please comment!!!!
I'm laughing so hard I have tears streaming down my face!
ReplyDeleteI've seen dogs riding skateboards, surfboards and motorcycles, but never a cat riding a man.
Mmmm... You have a very interesting mind.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Cathy
Here's Evan's idea: Mouse crawls up man's pants. Cat smells mouse. Cat sees lump inside clothing of mouse. Cat jumps to mouse but misses. Attacks man's shoulders. Cat deperately holding on in order to not fall into puddle.
ReplyDeleteAndrew's ideas:
ReplyDelete1. Man was going on a jog, and he was trying to get the cat down from a tree, but the cat fell down on him, because the branch fell, and the cat is too scared to go down completely yet.
2. Cat is stray. The jogger somehow came across the cat, and the cat pounced on his shoulders, trying to figure out if there's any food. He's trying to run home to lure the cat off of him by getting some food and throwing it off, making the cat leave.
3. Perhaps he's adopting it, and the cat has long claws from being stuck in a cage, and doesn't want to hurt them by walking on the hard pavement. Man will clip his/her nails later.
It sounds kinda surreal, Jules! And you want a reasonable explanation?
ReplyDelete