Homeschool Questions: Top Ten!

Our classroom, 2011-2012 school year

I recently was connected (via a mutual friend) with a woman considering homeschooling.  I am always very happy to share my experiences, and help someone come to a decision about their child's education, and I eagerly offered for her to "fire away" with any questions she had!  She replied that she had "tons", but narrowed it down to a top ten.

Having answered many of these questions before for others, I thought I'd post them for all those to see who are interested in the option of homeschooling their child.  Please know that these are off-the-cuff answers--if I were to contemplate them too long, waiting for an opportunity to construct the perfect answer, it would never get done!

Enjoy, and apology in advance for the longer nature this post requires!  I'll try to be as brief as I can.  If you'd like more details on a particular topic, please comment.

1. What questions can I ask myself that will let me know that I am ready?


When are we ever really ready for a big life change?  It's the kind of thing  for which you can prepare for months, and really not be that better off than if you had jumped in with both feet forward.  In the meantime, you've lost those months!  If your child is not thriving in their current environment, and you see no end to this in the near future, just pull 'em out!  If the student is in high school and is very close to finishing a semester, you may wish to keep them in so they can receive full credit on their transcripts for those classes, but other than that...in many cases, it would be better to remove them from the bad situation and let them take a break for a couple of weeks while you get your curriculum and learning space figured out--if things are really that uncomfortable, the poor kid might really feel recuperated after some time off, and if they've helped you choose curriculum, there could really be some excitement about starting the new programs!

If by "ready", you mean that you've got it all figured out, you might be waiting a loooooong time.  With homeschooling, you've got to stay flexible--it very well might take some time to work out a system that works for you (the teacher) and your child (the student).  After all, that's one of the huge advantages to homeschooling, right?  To be able to understand and meet the needs and interests as they present themselves!  Rigidity, although useful to some degree, is a necessity of a larger classroom, where individual needs are not easily accommodated.

So, in my opinion, you're "ready" when you're ready to analyze your interactions and educational goals with no guilt--to be able to say, "Nope, that's not working out; I'm going to make a change here" without looking back.

2.  Where do I obtain the printed materials to teach the curriculum?  How do I know the curriculum to follow?


The Michigan Department of Education posts all curriculum standards on their website.  (If you're from out-of-state, visit your own state's department of education).   However, most accredited curricula will say what standards they align with.  There is some curricula available for all subjects for each year--I haven't used these myself, but some of them are Bob Jones and Sonlight.  Both of these are Christian-based programs--since many homeschoolers are far Christian right, there are lots of options for their needs.  I personally teach a secular curriculum, and I haven't found a whole year packaged up like those  to suit.  However, I think it's best to hand-choose each curricular piece/program individually in order to best suit the needs in your home.  A good place to start would be Rainbow Resource Center.  I suggest requesting a catalog sent to your home--it's thicker than a phone book, with the same font size...you'll be encouraged and intimidated by your choices all at the same time, but overall, I think it's very exciting to leaf through.  You can browse with your child through all the subject matter at their fingertips!  No longer will you be constrained by what your school offers--want to learn Chinese? Arabic? Art Appreciation?  Gardening?  Two science classes? Want to polish up your grammar, or your penmanship?  Learn a computer language?  Forget the days of one or two electives.  You'll find you can be SO efficient with your time, you'll have your core subjects done in just a few hours everyday, leaving you so much extra time for what interests you the most!

(Note that if you are homeschooling a high schooler, you need to be sure that you're meeting the graduation requirements for your state, and keep good records!  Make a running transcript for each semester completed, and be ready to supply more details of the particular curriculum you used)

Personally, I have two 11-year-olds I'm homeschooling.  We are using the following...which doesn't mean everyone should use them, but just to give you an idea of what works best for us:

• Math:  Connected Math Project II, aka CMP2 (I was a Math teacher--I wouldn't recommend this for most homeschoolers, as it's not designed for homeschool; I adapt it because it's a great program).  We also do one Mathmania magazine a week....when that gets old, we'll switch to another type of supplemental math.  I love Math, and so do the kids!
• Science:  Haven't found a science program I really really love, so right now we're doing an Anatomy unit with the Kids Discover magazines and teacher guides (along with the Power Vocabulary guides).  On Friday mornings, we do experiments from "Science in a Nutshell" kits--currently working on an aerospace unit. 
• Phonics:  Working through Key Curriculum Press's Phonics books
• Spelling:  Nothing in particular--phonics covers some, our power vocabulary covers some, and our typing program also reinforces spelling.  I do have a program sitting on the shelf for when we've finished all the levels of Phonics.
• Grammar:  Many Grammar topics addressed in Phonics...other grammar is covered in our writing on a one-on-one basis.
• Writing/Literature/History:  This year, we're using an integrated curriculum to cover these topics together.  I LOVE the program, and recommend it highly.  It's called History Odyssey, and there are programs for all levels of students.  We are currently doing Level 2, Modern History, and are reading Red Badge of Courage, The Jungle Book, Around the World in 80 Days, Diary of Anne Frank, and many more.  There's a lot of instruction on how to properly prepare an essay, a research paper, etc.  There also are appendices with other literature selections, such as poems and excerpts.  All work is organized into five sections of a binder, which serves as a wonderful portfolio, especially useful for high school students.
• Music:  In our area, there is a wonderful organization called Oakland Homeschool Music, Inc. which offers a variety of music classes for all ages, pre-K thru High School.  They even offer varsity letters, grades, and have a formal graduation ceremony.  My boys are currently enrolled in Middle School Chorus and Philharmonic Orchestra.  In addition to that, they are also enrolled in the Oakland Youth Orchestra, and take private piano and string (violin for one, cello for the other) lessons.  
• Physical Education:  We're currently enrolled at Zen Martial Arts in Rochester, which is quite a workout for the boys!  They do conditioning at the start of every class.  We also have done dance classes (and there's dance in the musicals we do as well), swimming lessons, running, and regularly participate this year in homeschool ice skating.  (We're trying homeschool roller skating next week!)  Homeschool ski club is awesome, as it's a great price for downhill skiing, plus Pine Knob is only a couple miles from our house!  My husband and I do P90X, and sometimes the boys join us for that, too.  As a family, we like to ride bikes when we can.  I wish we took more walks--I've been wanting to do geocaching in the local park, but haven't fit it in yet!
• Drama/Art:  There are several homeschooling drama clubs in Oakland County--we belong to Six Stools and a Folding Chair, and participate in the Spring Musical--last year, one of my sons got to play the role of Oliver!  A fantastic opportunity.  I love the level of production this group does--on par with Community College, some say!  There are many art programs available at Rainbow Resource Center, but I have a bad track record of doing art with the boys, so this year I enrolled them in homeschool art classes at The Artist's Apprentice in Clarkston.  More art centers are offering these in the area, and I bet if yours doesn't, they'd be open to starting one!  Michigan Opera Theatre offers $10 tickets to their dress rehearsals for homeschoolers, but you must call ahead for reservations.  You won't find a better price for live opera anywhere!  We haven't gone lately, as there's been a conflict with our Art classes, but we've been attending the MET Opera: Live in HD performances at our local movie theatre to follow the NYC productions.
• Language:  Currently using Rosetta Stone for Chinese/Mandarin studies.  The boys are thriving on this, and I love it myself!  (I used to teach French, and I find this a much better way to learn--sorry, French teachers!  I still love you!)
• Typing:  Remember when we called it "keyboarding?"  I chose Roller Typing for the boys, as it has a fun twist of matching your success with cool jumps on roller blades.  LOL
• Current Events:  LOVE the Time for Kids weekly magazine.  Great price for a weekly, and very timely topics--teacher guides (worksheets and quizzes) published right on the website.
• Geography:  We're focusing on US Geography this year, and are using Which Way USA workbooks published by Highlights.  They're quite expensive, but the kids love them so much!!!!
• Penmanship/Handwriting:  Handwriting without Tears.  Cursive seems to be a lost art these days, and I definitely want the boys to do it well! Use it or lose it!  

So there's just a taste of what we do....we also have an hour each morning where we do whatever we'd like to together--sometimes play games, sometimes cook, sometimes clean (Home Ec)!  Right now, we're working on a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.  :D

One more note....about staying on top of curriculum and standards....I chose last year to give the boys the grade-level appropriate SAT exam.  It took a few days to complete, but I found the information it provided me with to be worthwhile.  I got to see how the boys were performing compared with other children their age.  I was able to administer it in my home after becoming a certified tester, which was a very simple process if you have a college degree.  Not all homeschoolers test like this, but it gave me a little peace of mind.  It also ended up giving the boys some confidence as well, because they weren't sure how they'd compare (they were pleasantly surprised)!

3.  Where do I obtain the tests?
Testing materials vary for all curricula.  Sometimes testing materials will be on a CD-Rom.  Sometimes a separate booklet.  If you want to do standardized testing (like the SAT or Iowa tests), you can obtain them from Bob Jones University Press.  I recommend them because they're used to working with homeschoolers.

4. Is there support?
There's always lots of support if you go looking for it.  There are MANY Yahoo groups out there--go to groups.yahoo.com and do a keyword search.  This is a great way to connect with people and get questions answered quickly!  You can also join a group and search their past posts/messages and learn a lot there, as well.  There is a legal organization for homeschoolers, HSLDA.  I've never belonged to their organization, and I've heard some controversial things about them...but for the most part, they're there to help you.  Luckily, in Michigan, the laws are very lax concerning homeschooling, and you won't have to worry about whether or not you're jumping through the right hoops.

Know that you will meet resistance, as well.  Most of us have a fair amount of trouble with family, even if it's just screwy looks on their faces or upturned noses instead of outspoken protests.  ALL of us have stories of idiotic things people have said or done when they learn that we homeschool.  It just goes with the territory, so be ready for it.  It's not worth it to try to change anyone's opinion, but just to let them see the fruits of what you're doing!

5.  What about subjects for which I am horrible?  Like Geometry and Algebra, for example?
There are LOTS of ways around this!  Be at ease!  As long as you have a good internet connection and a computer, you're good to go.  One program comes to mind called Teaching Textbooks.  I'm not advocating this program, as I don't know it well enough to do so, but I know many people who use it and love it.  It is a completely independent program for the student, even with every single problem's solution in a video you can watch.  There are also online schools that take care of this problem for you, like Wilostar3D, which a friend of mine uses and loves. Some homeschooling purists claim this approach isn't truly homeschooling, but going to school from home...I'll stay out of that argument.  ;)

6.  How does one graduate, and prepare for college?
As far as preparing for college, I find homeschooling to be an amazing tool for college-training!  My sons are given more and more responsibility to manage their own time, pace out their work, choose subject matter relevant to them, etc.  I've heard college students who were homeschooled claim that it's not very different at all from what they were used to.  And because I (the teacher) am focused on them all the time, I make sure they're learning very good habits...like correcting their mistakes, keeping their workspace neat, showing work/supporting their answers...all the things that most conventional teachers do, but I can do it better because my class size is 2!  The potential to be an amazing student producing quality work is so great because it has started at such an early age!

As for graduating, I don't have any experience with this yet, but you could find lots of info on Yahoo! groups.  From the messages I've seen floating around, there's everything from "I made up a certificate and printed it out" to hiring a service to produce a transcript for you as well as a diploma.  There is an organization/school in Ann Arbor that's popular called Clonlara--you could check them out.  Also, many public schools are now getting on-board with homeschooling--if they offer you online homeschooling classes and curricula, they can get money from the state for your child, so you can see why it's gaining popularity!  In my area, Clarkston and Oxford public schools offer online diplomas.

A close friend of mine has a homeschooled high school senior--she is not only having no problems with colleges accepting her homeschooling, but she is being offered scholarships right and left (she's a National Merit Scholar).  If there's a particular college you have in mind, it probably wouldn't hurt to contact them before applying to see if there's anything in particular they're needing from homeschooled children.

7. Are there outside activities in my area for socialization, etc?
A quick search for homeschooling groups in your area (again, on Yahoo) will be a big help to you in finding them.  I've mentioned a couple above  for Oakland County, such as OHMI, 6 Stools and a Folding Chair, homeschool ski, homeschool roller skate, homeschool ice skate, but there are many more...YMCA classes usually offer homeschool phys ed.  For high schoolers, there are often proms, graduations, dances, etc if you  get involved with a good group in your area.  Some also get more involved in their Youth Groups at church, or in Community Ed programs (especially for sports).  There are often field trips planned (homeschool classes at parks, homeschool day at the Capitol, etc) and also elaborate trips with national groups, such as a European tour!  I'm personally not involved in any co-ops, but we have a tightly-knit group of 10 children (five families) who do things together occasionally, like our current Secret Santa endeavor (weekly gifts from a secret Santa, ending with a "reveal" party with a larger gift--very fun!).  It can take a little while to find a group that you click with, especially if you are a secular homeschooler, but there are plenty of opportunities to meet people, for sure!

8.  I read that my son can still participate in school electives?
That's right...there shouldn't be any problem with that, although it seems like some school districts are interpreting the "rules" differently.  Some want you to take some core classes before you take an elective, I have heard....but I don't have first-hand experience in this, having no need for it myself (the drama and music programs we are in seem superior to most schools, and I love our computer-based language class, and the homeschool art classes....so that about wraps up the electives!)  I'd suggest contacting the district you're in for details.  If they're going to make a fuss, you probably don't want your child there, anyway.

9.  What is a typical day like--structured like school?  Six-hour subjects?
I think you'll find that if you try to do core academic work for six hours, you'll finish your year's curriculum in a few months.  As I said before, homeschooling is super-efficient.  Some homeschoolers get their core work done often before noon and fill the rest of their day with creative activity.  Yet others are "unschoolers" and the day is completely unstructured, allowing for interest to guide the way, and for educational opportunities to present themselves.  Some people start at a set time in the morning, others ease more into their day.  You might try several variations, and see which one is best for you.  As an example, here's how I do it (and honestly, every single homeschooler I know has their own methods...yet all the kids are thriving--truly, do what's best for you!):

9:00  Start the day.  Sometimes this varies if we have a late-night activity and we need a sleep in!
9-10 am  Our flex time.  We ease into our day as we simply enjoy some time together, playing a game, doing a little project (origami, cooking, cleaning, etc), or sometimes we use the time for those subjects we have a hard time fitting in otherwise, like penmanship.  On Fridays, this is our time for science experiments.
10-11 am  One child is on the computer, either doing language or typing.  The other is doing music practice (piano and instrument)
11-12 noon Children switch...computer goes to music, music goes to computer
(Note:  this gives me TWO HOURS each day where I'm not needed--this is when I can pick up the house, do laundry, clean kitchen, prep dinner, do email, etc.  I find this time VERY important to keeping the house on track!)
12-1 pm Lunch and outside time.  The boys go outside almost every day, rain or shine or snow!
1-2 pm Math
2 o'clock until we leave for whatever activity is independent work time.  This is when they work on their weekly checklists, which are assignments they need to complete every week (includes integrated History program, current events, extra Math, Science, Geography, additional rehearsal time for chorus and drama).

We have activities outside the home every afternoon and most evenings.  If we get home before 7 pm, they're expected to work more on their weekly checklists.  They also have learned to work in the car to lessen their load on the weekend....since finishing their weekly tasks usually includes about 5 hrs on the weekend.

I have a rewards program as well, where I give out poker chips which represent points (like the Houses on Harry Potter).  Points can buy a variety of rewards, like a trip to the movies, or a book.  There is extra motivation to work hard, perform well,  be efficient, since each milestone reached in the curriculum results in a large points pay-out!  This is new for us this year, and it's working out really well.  It also gives me another tool for positive reinforcement, and a mild tool for infractions, like being late, or not finishing your weekly tasks (points can be taken away---but I've only had to do this once).

Sounds a bit rigorous, I know, but honestly, our schedule is so busy because the boys want to do so many things/activities, that following a schedule is the only way we can stay on task!

I must reiterate, though, that it's taken me two years to get this system down!  It's just right for us right now, and I made lots of mistakes in getting here!  Do what you feel comfortable with, and watch your child for signs of growth/thriving, or of shutting down/stressing out.  Use those signs as your guideposts!

10.  Would you recommend it without any hesitation and why?
Quite frankly, I'm not sure I could recommend it without hesitation for anyone, just because every situation, every child, every parent, every family, is so unique!  I would say that if you feel called to it, or compelled to give it a shot, I say, "Go for it!"  It has been a wonderful experience for us, and for nearly all I know who try it.  The benefits I feel are the time with my children--I see the school buses in the early morning, and watch them return in the late afternoon, and it makes me sad to even think about being away from my kids for sooooo long, every day!  The first year I homeschooled (we did private school for 4 years), I felt like I was doing something wrong--breaking the law, or neglecting my children, or something, when September rolled around and most kids hopped on those school buses!  But I knew in my heart that it was the right choice for us--but I felt a little lonely, not knowing many others at the time.  Now, in contrast, I feel like school, although serving a very important function for our children and society, is for those who don't want to, or are unable, to homeschool--because I see so many benefits for the child in homeschooling--it really seems to be superior academically (if you want it to be), there's more opportunity (more efficiency means more time to explore interests, and in more depth), and so much about it seems more natural...I love cooking hot meals for the boys.  I love our more relaxed mornings (starting at 9 means they don't even have to get out of bed until 8, and that leaves an hour to eat breakfast and shower--they usually play a little, read a little...).  I love not having to leave the house before 1 o'clock in the winter and being out in dangerous driving conditions.  I love that we can eat so healthy, and practice such healthy ways of living, so we get sick seldom.  When we do get sick, it's only for a day or two--and this isn't because we're not exposed to germs (really, have you seen that schedule?  LOL), but we're exposed in smaller doses, and when we're at home, I can say, "You know, you're looking a little under the weather....why don't you go upstairs and take a nap?" while I immediately begin preparing some fresh-squeezed juice and vitamins, or perhaps draw a bath for him with a few drops of peppermint oil.  Throw some garlic bread in the oven, heavy on the garlic.  This, opposed to having a child attend school until they are really really sick, because it's such a pain in the butt to be absent...and then getting them back in before they're really ready.  At home, we can just add activities back in as they're ready for them, easy-does-it.  When we're around sick kids (which is just about every day in the flu season), we're around them for about an hour, not 6 or 7 hours.  It's a dose their immune systems can usually handle.  But it feeling so natural isn't just about being healthier--it's something that resonates deeply within me, being with my children all day, teaching them life skills and preventing bad habits before they even manifest as such (like correcting their posture, or being sure they put their napkins on their laps, or a million other examples).  We are tight-knit.  And they're thriving.  All this, while LOVING school and what they're learning, academically working at a level that is challenging and relevant, and able to pursue their many interests.  And we have a dog in our classroom.  Isn't that reason enough?  Hahaha!  :D

So, it works well for us.  Conventional school settings also work really well for others.  It's totally a personal decision.  And who knows, we might change gears at any time--because I'll continue to follow those guideposts, those signs the children feed me.  Will we go to public or private high school?  Perhaps--I have no idea, really.  We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!  But whatever decision you come to, reader, it's part of your journey, be it an error or a grand success, and you must take comfort in knowing that you are actively considering the best option for your child, instead of just allowing the status quo.  You're brave to consider a change, and I wish you the best in your decision-making!

Very sincerely, and with a light heart and an open mind,
Julie

MET Opera: Live in HD...in Oxford, MI!

There were seven of us in theatre 4 on Wednesday evening, 6:30, at the Goodrich Oxford 7 Theatre.

As Andrew, Evan, and I stroll in with our over-flowing tub of large, unbuttered popcorn, we have our pick of seats.  On the screen, we watch as opera-goers stroll into the MET Opera theatre in New York City, finding their assigned places.  They settle in, dressed to the nines, while we in our jeans and tennis shoes start munching on our snacks.  We read about the upcoming show on a xeroxed 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper while they page through their ad-filled, four-color programs, perhaps searching for their names listed under the patron section.

The show we were about to see was not live...the live streaming of select MET operas are on Saturdays at 12:55 (mostly), so we prefer to catch the Wednesday evening "encore" performances.  It would be a bit more exciting to know you were viewing it live, but it's not worth the trade-off of having to give up my Saturday afternoons!  Tonight's opera is "Satyagraha", the Sanskrit word for the peaceful social actions Ghandi employed.  This work focuses on his time in South Africa.  The score is written by Philip Glass, a contemporary composer knows as a minimalist, although he prefers to be thought of as a composer of "music with repetitive structures" (see Philip Glass link to his bio).

The libretto (words sung) is extracted from the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Hindu text, which the boys and I read aloud together two years ago.  It is an incredibly rich, thought-provoking text which deals with the morality of war and duty.  How exciting for us to revisit the text under such different circumstances, presented with the modern context!

However, my excitement at the outset of the performance doesn't come close to my excitement upon leaving the theatre.  This was, hands-down, the BEST show I have seen in my life.  That doesn't mean it would be for everyone...but it struck me on many levels, and resonated with me like no other performance.  THIS is the whole reason we seek and enjoy art.  But opera has the potential to reach heights no other art can attempt--the sum is so much greater than its parts.  The music was trance-like and meditative.  The stage production was phenomenal, with its brilliant use of two-story puppets, glorious costumes and make-up, and multi-level action on the set.  The acting of Richard Croft as Ghandi was among the best acting I've ever seen--there could've been a camera on his face the entire time, and I wouldn't have gotten bored watching his face for the slight variations which expressed the gamut of emotion that Ghandi himself must've experienced (in an interview during the first intermission, Mr. Croft admitted that he read every book on Ghandi he could get his hands on to prepare for the role.  It showed!)  This great acting was no small feat, either--he was onstage for nearly every orchestral note, and there were many times where his expression had to carry the visual interest for long, repetitive, simple sections of the score with no vocals.  (As Evan said to me at one point, "It's not what he's doing, but what he doesn't do!"  Well-said).  Although there was no dancing in the traditional sense, the movement of the Skills Ensemble (part of the Phelim McDermott and Julian Crouch director/designer team) was brilliant...perfectly balanced, and although every gesture was probably intentional and planned, it looked very natural and random.

As with colors, or food, or musical notes, elements can come together and create total disaster or complete wonder.  The same is true when creating opera, a mix of music, visual art, dance, and acting.  This opera, in particular, was tricky because the music is very difficult at best.  Delicious and delightful, but difficult.  It could've been trumped by an overly-magnificent spectacle, and completely flopped for me.  It's beyond my ability to express how perfectly this work came together.  I am SO sorry there will not be another opportunity for you to see it, except perhaps on a PBS broadcast.

If you do watch for this opera to somehow make its way to you, please know that opera is not like traveling Broadway shows.  Each production is created anew with its component parts--the conductor, director, designer, actors, could all be different.  Or, you could see the exact same show, and have a totally different reaction...

But my reason for writing this post is this--in this small-town, in this small theatre, I was able to experience a grand artistic event.  Outside of my family, only four other tickets were sold.  I don't feel confident that these opportunities will continue to come around, and I'm not here to convince you that you'd love it...but I do want to raise awareness for you closet opera lovers!

And if you're thinking that these performances will take away from the ticket sales of the Detroit Opera House, a fabulous organization, I say that any endeavor which will grow the interest in this rare art will benefit all in the long-run.  There's nothing like sitting before a live performance, that's true.  But my love for the radio and my CDs doesn't diminish my desire to attend a live concert, so I draw a parallel with opera as well.

This Saturday, April 9th, you can go to the Goodrich Oxford 7 and see a live streaming of "Faust" from the MET.  Showtime is 12:55.  Wish I could say, "See you there!", but I'll have to hope I can make the encore presentation when it comes around...

Spread the word!

How Much Beauty Can You Take?

I end the day under the influence of a small amount of wine (2/3 of a bottle is small, right? Oh yeah, plus a beer...), relieveing me of the USUAL influence of my ego.




I find myself reflecting on the incredible beauty that was interwoven through my day. In awe. I see that if we were to live in the divine light every moment of every day, we simply could not have the experiences we came here to have. My personal awareness of the infinite beauty around me ebbs and flows. Tonight it is at high tide.



I am swept away by the sychronicity of events today. It is astounding and beautiful. At every turn, there was reason and love, beauty and meaning. I spent time with dear loved ones virtually, in person, and in spirit. I laughed raucously. I listened intently. I learned. I observed others laughing and listening and learning. I met old friends intentionally and coincidentally. I relaxed and let my true self emerge without reservation amongst new friends. I lived this day fully.



And now I finish my day quietly, with my dog by my side, a cherry-topped english muffin in my belly, and a wish to record this emotion forevermore. What emotion is this? Contentment seems too small a word. I am full of excitement, yet completely at peace. I glow.



Have you glowed lately? Are you radiating your peace, your love, your joy outwardly? Come join me! I'm not sure how much longer I may be here, since this adoration for everything I see makes me feel like I will just float up and out of my body, it's so overwhelming. How much beauty can I take? My knitting beside me, the chair I'm sitting in, this uncomprehensible piece of technology at my fingertips, the original painting on the wall--and that's just what my eyes perceive. Each object containing such perfection! It reminds me of when I first became a mother; the feeling of wonder and love and instinct were all so strong, I felt like I would burst--and the worry, the fear, the fight in equal parts felt. It consumes like fire, and I had to learn to suppress it, lest I not be able to function normally!



Euphoria. That's what it is! Euphoria. Experiencing the divine in all--the wonder of it all--and being at peace with its infinity.



It's like looking at the stars in the sky, with their multitudes of planets, their vast distances, and knowing your role is so ridiculously miniscule, but with full knowledge of the necessity for each tiny piece to play its role accordingly. It's an empowerment.



Pardon my rambling. I just had to try to put this in words. Perhaps now my brain will rest. Goodnight, all.

In Defense of Homeschool, Part I

It seems like whenever I have something really important to share on this blog, I shy away from it, because I somehow feel that I'm never going to get my point across perfectly. Instead, nothing that I want to say is expressed, and the whole argument is dead before it ever even got a chance to speak.

Tonight I will be brave. Tonight, I will combat that fear, and begin to share this message. It's about homeschooling. I could add and edit it for a million years, and it would never say everything that needs to be said, nor convey every idea clearly that resounds within me. But I'm going to begin, because this is just TOO important to ignore any longer.

I run the risk of rambling. My mind is overflowing with emotion and thoughts that are interwoven tightly, and the path from point A to point B might veer wildly. For this, I apologize in advance. I also apologize for those of you who read this, and feel that I've left out a very important topic, or that I've missed the mark by a long shot. Please feel free to comment. Perhaps I won't even come close to getting it all out, and I'll continue with another entry. Look, I'm already three paragraphs into it and I've said pretty much nothing at all!

Does that give you a sense of how terrified I am to begin? Here goes nothing:

I homeschool my two boys, identical twins, age 10. We are finishing up our second year of homeschooling after four years of private education.

I was once a certified secondary teacher in the state of Michigan in the areas of Math and French. I have taught at the college level (including Calc II at a Big Ten school as a TA with my own recitation classes), public high school, private school, remedial summer school, private tutoring, and now, of course, homeschool. I've participated in educating children at more levels than most people. With my own experience serving as insight, I must say that the best way to educate children is...

...are you on the edge of your seat waiting for me to tell you?

Well, I won't. And I could never dream of such a thing. Because education can succeed gloriously or fail miserably in any setting. Which is most reliable? Most successful? Impossible to say. We don't have time machines to go back and make different decisions to see how they'd turn out. Yet, our human arrogance makes us think we can tell good decisions from bad decisions.

Have you ever met two children that are so alike, the exact same circumstances for both of them produce identical results? Certainly not...every child is miraculously unique. Even if a particular method (be it discipline, parenting, or even diet) works for most children, we still owe it to the child for whom it clearly does NOT work to offer them an alternative, if we can.

I think most people are on board with me up to this point. The only dissenting opinion, I think, could be that children should learn to "fit in" despite whatever challenges they have with the standard. I strongly disagree. My argument (take it or leave it) would be that a child will grow into a well-adjusted adult if raised in an environment that nurtures a sense of self-worth and where the child feels loved. Not all children will feel that they fit in all the time, no adult does , either! But if they're valued as they are, and that it's ok to be different, and taught that differences make our lives richer, they could be quite content, and still feel like a contributing member of the micro-society they're participating in.

And apart from the unique individuals that trust us to care for them and teach them how to find a place in the world, whole family dynamics are also completely unique. For example, in my household, my husband has a very demanding job. He is out of the house before six, often working from a home office prior to leaving, and he's usually home around 8 pm. Sometimes between 7 and 8. It's not rare for him to be on a conference call as he walks in the door, or off and on through the evening. When the boys were in private school, they would go several days a week without seeing him, and when they did, it was very brief, and usually just a kiss goodnight. Now that we homeschool, we've been able to adjust our schedule so that we begin school later, and the boys go to bed around 10 pm. It was beautiful to see our family change, as we ate a meal and spent time together every evening. Even if we were just watching something silly and laughing together on TV, we were together, often cuddled on the couch.

This wasn't the reason that we chose to homeschool, but it's an example of how each family's situation is different, and each child's needs are also unique. So my question is, why is there such a desire to make judgments on decisions about how someone chooses to educate their child or children???

And homeschoolers, I'm afraid, are blatantly bullied and persecuted for their choices. Behind our backs, and to our faces. By our families, other educators, the media, and sometimes the government. I won't go into examples, as it would probably raise my blood pressure and turn this into an angry piece, which I really don't want it to become, but it's time for that bullying and judgment to end. Some people assume any trait in the child (which they see as a flaw), is a result of the homeschooling situation. Snap judgments are made, usually with absolutely no background information at all.

Take, for example, the ever-exploited argument about socialization, or the reputed lack thereof for this minority. Yes, there are some children who are homeschooled that may not be social butterflies. But why automatically blame it on homeschooling? I've seen many children completely shut down in a conventional school setting because of a number of issues. Public schools and private schools of all types can create a social issue for a child. Perhaps this child with the so-called problem learned this behavior in another setting, and the parent is trying to correct the problem the best way they know how? Maybe that child is loads better than they were two years ago, after being in a more supportive environment. Maybe the problem IS homeschooling. Or maybe the child is JUST SHY or JUST QUIET, and would be so no matter what? And so what??? Being shy, quiet, careful, observant...these aren't bad traits. In fact, they are necessary within our race to maintain balance. You'll find radical differences in personalities of animals as well--it doesn't mean there's something wrong, or something that needs to be corrected. Most of our greatest geniuses would have been labeled as "misfits" or "unsocialized" by today's standards, where we want everyone to fit a mold. Not everybody can be a jock or a sales guy or a beauty queen or a cruise director. Let's have a little less criticism for our children and their uniqueness! Give them the incredible gift of an environment where they will be comfortable and flourish!

And that environment might be anything! But can we please stop judging individual parents' rights, and criticizing their children? For Pete's Sake! And yes, I do acknowledge that this understanding and tolerance needs to go both ways. I do know homeschoolers who question why parents don't pull troubled children out of school, or ask how a family can expose their children to the harshness of a non-home setting. And of course, I don't think that's right; they are in the wrong as well. It all needs to stop! Because really, at the heart of it, I think most of the issue comes from us feeling like others are judging us, so we judge them back, and it's a vicious circle!!!! That, and we are currently caught in an era where parents are often feeling guilty, or overly questioning their decisions. Like there's a clear answer to every question--as if! Listen to your child, trust your instincts, and make changes where you can, if needed. Be flexible. And forgiving. Trust yourself, trust God, trust the universe, whatever "faith" means to you, have it! Because all of this self-blame and doubt just gets projected outwardly onto each other.

Hmmm. That sounds like a conclusion. And I guess it is, to the philosophical rant. But there are some other very real things I'd like to clear up--hence my "In Defense of Homeschooling" title. Please know that I plan to address some common myths and answer questions people often ask me about homeschooling only. In no way do I mean to project homeschooling as the right choice for you. Just gonna debunk and share. :D

1. Homeschoolers are not socialized enough.

First of all, what is the measure for a proper amount of socialization? A friend once said to me that it seems like schools take advantage of a child's desire to be with other children. Yes--children should be with peers. But for how long? Eight hours a day? Or is an hour a day enough? A couple of times a week? Should 30 children be randomly selected to be in a room for 40 hrs a week? Some kids seems to thrive on it, while for others, it's a nightmare. That's for you to decide what will benefit your child.

Personally, my children are interacting with many more children than they ever did when they were in private school. They also are participating in a variety of activities--formal settings, classroom settings, free play. We are in an area that happens to have a very large homeschooling population (despite the wonderful public school option we also have), and the boys are in Homeschool Elementary Chorus, Homeschool Intermediate Orchestra, Wushu (a martial art), youth theatre, swimming classes, dance class, homeschool ski club, and an active, more intimate group of peers with whom we go on field trips, celebrate holidays, go to parks, play board games, and get together on the weekends as families. These groups mentioned are not all exclusively homeschoolers, either, so there is plenty of exposure to children from other educational backgrounds as well. In addition to these socializing activities, there are regular drop-in events we can choose to go to, such as homeschool bowling, homeschool skate, and co-op classes, which we never seem to have time for. Most of the homeschool families that I know are just about as active as we are. There are some, I'm sure, who probably stay home, but that works for them! Let the myth go! Most homeschooled kids are not at home stuck in isolation.

We were far more isolated in private school. My children are so sensitive to everyone else in their surroundings (emotions, sounds, activity levels), they were completely exhausted at the end of every school day. They couldn't even talk about their day. Very low energy all afternoon, once they got home. It was too taxing to go to the park after school, or have a play date--we tried. Just too tired. With homeschooling, they are socializing in dosages that work much better for their own endurance levels, and having a more positive experience as a result.

And why are conventional ways of schooling not criticized nearly as often for anti-socialization? It happens! But for some reason, it's wildly popular to pick on homeschoolers for this, but heaven forbid one should point out the social damage that also can be present in other settings! The child who faces the lunchroom every day with fear and feelings of abandonment? The bullied child who self-destructs or becomes violent?

2. Homeschooled children are at an academic disadvantage or are pushed too hard.

Take your pick! LOL! This one is actually quite funny. I'm sure there are plenty of examples of any scenario you'd like to argue. Let me put your minds at ease that there are many studies which show homeschooled children are high achievers, academically. IF you care for statistics...I don't. When it comes to your own child, all the statistics in the world really don't matter. I can share with you our own experience, though. Because we homeschool, I am able to fine tune the boys' education in such a way that we get tons done in a small amount of time--we are very efficient. This opens up many more opportunities for extra-curricular, or choice studies. For example, private music lessons (they each play two instruments), foreign language study, extra time exploring the subjects they love, extra time outside each day, more field trips, and for us, because we were used to paying $15,000/year for tuition, it gave us lots of extra cash flow for those things, plus laptop computers, vacations, etc. (Again, a beneficial family dynamic at work here...allowing us to pay down more of our debt, have financial flexibility, build great family memories integrating school topics into our vacations, etc).

Wow...I still have SOOOOOO much more to say. I feel like I've just touched the tip of the iceberg. I'm going to have to make this Part I! I'll continue with what home education looks like on my next blog! In the meantime, please feel free to comment, ask questions, or pose topics for me to address....

In the light!

Julie

Strange Scenes: What CATches my eye today!

Here's the first installment of "Strange Scenes." It's a baffling world we live in!

Driving my usual Monday route, usual time. Zipping along, listening to my typical 80's radio station, barely noticing the same scenery out the windows...

...until my brain registers something different. Something wrong! Like one of those activities in children's magazines where you have to find all the mistakes in the drawing, except this was very real!

Of course, driving 50 miles an hour, down a curvy road, I was past it and had rounded a corner before I really had a chance to assess what in the world was going on! All I can say is that it was a man running down the sidewalk...with a cat on his back.

Yes, a cat on his back. Not a cat-in-a-backpack-riding-on-his-back, nor a cat-in-a-baby-carrier-riding-on-his-back...but a cat clinging to his shoulders and back for dear life, looking quite uncomfortable with the situation, nails dug into the man's T-shirt. Nope, not a rugged canvas coat, but a thin T-shirt. There's no way this man didn't feel this feline's claws digging in.

What in the world was happening???? I have a few scenarios, although none of them seem very likely:

1. Man was jogging along, minding his own business, and cat-who-has-seen-too-much-Animal-Planet jumps out of tree onto man's back, hoping for some dinner. After all, the man was running alone, so shouldn't he be easy prey, away from his pack? Perhaps what I DIDN'T see were the assortment of other cats hiding along the path, ready to help take down the victim?

2. Man and cat are fleeing from fire.

3. Man attempted to give cat a bath, cat took to highest ground (man's shoulders), and man took off running for help.

4. Man really wanted a dog, but wife/girlfriend would not allow it, as it would stress poor kitty out, therefore man attempts to take cat jogging, trying to have cat fill the place of his dream dog. Cat would not cooperate, so man attempted holding cat while he jogged, but cat freaked out and squirmed up onto his shoulder. Man is too stubborn to accept defeat and tolerates nails in his skin, and will later tell wife/girlfriend what a great idea it was that he had. Wife/girlfriend will find scratches on man's back, and will promptly end relationship, assuming he's having an affair. Man then buys dog.

5. Man was taking a leisurely stroll with his parakeet on his shoulder, cat attacked parakeet from its tree perch.

6. Man is trying to train cat to ride on his shoulder while jogging so he can be famous on YouTube.

7. Jogging is very difficult and painful for man, therefore man brings clinging-cat-with-sharp-claws to inflict constant pain on him, hence distracting him from the pain of his running.

8. There was no man, there was no cat, and all my exercise lately is causing me to hallucinate.

Which of my options do you think matched the reality? Or do you perhaps have another suggested scenario of your own? Please comment!!!!

Hate What Is Evil???

Yes, I watched the royal wedding. My boys, who love history, pomp and circumstance, tradition, formality, and grew up loving Disney movies, were excited to see the first commoner married into the British Royal Family in 300+ years.

Riveted they were to the television screen, properly shot full of enough history from the previous evening's 20/20 special to understand the significance of the people, the event, the TIARA....they were absorbing every word. Which is how Andrew didn't let this one slide...

"...hate what is evil..."

An excerpt from Kate's brother James, as he gave the only reading at the service, taken from the book of Romans, chapter 15. A wider excerpt being "Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honour."

Andrew turned to me and said, "You know, Mom (many of their quips begin this way), I don't really think you should hate evil, because hating, itself, IS evil."

I replied, "Well, Andrew, I'd agree with you--I think that's very wise." I'd like to think I had followed up with "Jesus said to love your enemies, didn't he?" but I'm not one to say the right thing in the right moment....EVER. I think I tried to slip it in later in the day.

Tonight, I'm very thankful for this comment of his, and for him pointing out the hypocrisy of hating evil...hate in any form is a dangerous feeling (or state). It implies a whole-lotta judgment and in many cases can justify things (acts, feelings), which we know are not for us to justify.

I'm trying to carefully sort out my emotions concerning Osama bin Laden's death, and in doing so, not to celebrate his death as a human being. What I feel I can celebrate is that he will no longer be a leader of hate himself. There will be no more calls to violent action from his lips. He will no longer fund, and train people for, acts of terrorism, nor open any more schools for Al-Queda. I am trying to distance myself from focusing on the fact that his spirit has left our realm, and replace the parts of my heart which held onto anxiety concerning his next steps with thoughts of peace and light instead.

These things I can celebrate with joy.

His death? I figure death is something sacred between the universe (God, if you prefer) and the individual, and I'm best off just thinking, "No comment."

And hate what is evil? Well...it doesn't feel right to project hate into any situation. Project love instead. Which doesn't mean you need to love what is evil....why love it or hate it? Just give love to what you feel is evil. Where's the harm in that? That doesn't mean Osama should've been given hugs...don't get me wrong! His actions created a need for us to capture him to prevent further harm...I'm not preaching ambivalence by any means!

Although, I wonder...if he had been given more hugs as a child....???

Let's make May a month of love, to counter all the violence bin Laden endorsed. That would probably really piss him off. ;0)

Tornado Timidity

(Image at the left was supposedly taken in Frankenmuth after the 1996 tornado...some are inspired by a silhouette of Jesus holding his hands up in it. I claim no stance on the validity of this photo or what it may mean, but I found it interesting).

Luck favors the prepared.

These crazy tornadoes which keep on coming are spurring us to purchase a weather alert radio. We sleep on the upper floor of a 2-story walkout, so we're essentially 3 stories up, when taken from the perspective of an oncoming tornado (assuming an approach from the SW). I am tired of staying up through the night with these watches to see if I should be moving the children down to the basement.

I haven't been this paranoid in previous years. I'm sure a lot of the change in attitude is due to these very devastating weather phenomena we're seeing, but also from a first-hand story I heard a couple of months ago.

We were at a work charity event, and at our table was a couple (Greg's boss and her husband, actually) who survived the tornado that ripped through Frankenmuth several years back. Hearing them tell the horrifying tale, seeing the looks on their faces, and having such a visually dominant brain, it's no wonder it's deeply affected me.

They had gotten home late in the evening, and quickly hooked up their new speaker system. Like we all do with new speakers, they cranked them up. Really loud! What poor timing...which almost cost them their lives. They finally noticed something amiss, and when they turned down the music, the dreaded freight train noise dominated. They fled to the basement, and not a minute too soon. Theirs was one of the few houses which was completely leveled. Completely. They came back up the basement stairs (after witnessing things flying upward out of the basement) to nowhere. No house. No walls. A very eerie loaf of bread sat untouched, where it had been cooling, outside the breadmaker on the kitchen counter--a detail that stood out like a sign from God, who would spare their lives, and leave them their daily bread.

This wasn't some tale from tornado alley. It was just up the freeway 30 miles.

And just as it's unlikely we'll ever need our smoke detectors, yet we have them and faithfully change the batteries, we'll be getting a weather radio as well. Something perhaps for you to consider, too. I don't want to dwell on the negative or be ruled by fear, but that's precisely why I lock my doors at night...take reasonable precaution, then forget about it! So hopefully, with this radio, I can put my worries to rest.

Upside of the Real Estate Crash?

Would you be mine? Could you be mine?

I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting a new neighbor this evening, and her lovely children and husband. It's amusing how after a winter of being holed up in our homes, the beautiful weather draws us all out, and the mood lifts!

I was giving my new acquaintance the run-down of the occupants of the 8 other homes on our little quiet cul-de-sac...and was in awe, once again, of what an incredible neighborhood we live in--not because of the homes or the lake or the hills or the schools...but because of the people in those homes.

I think that if there's an upside to the real estate crash, it's that people are staying put in their homes, and building stronger bonds with their neighbors. That's certainly been true for us. Not sure if it's a Michigan thing, a Midwest thing, or an American thing, but neighbors are slow around here. Slow in a good, cautious sort of way. We don't rush relationships--we don't want to be overbearing or annoying, so we err on the side of aloofness. Good fences make good neighbors, but we don't have fences here, so we must be extra careful not to cross lines, hahaha. But because of this, we need a good couple of years of backyard conversation before we establish anything more!

What makes the neighborhood (in particular, our street) so great? It's hard to say. Why do I love the color purple? It just feels right. There don't seem to be any common threads--we've got homeschoolers (nope, I'm not the only one out of these 9 homes here!), private schoolers, and public schoolers. We have hard-core Midwesterners, Southerners, and Asians. Children of all ages represented, from infants through grown children. We have meticulous landscapers, floundering gardeners, and those with bare yards. Dogs with invisible fence, and dogs that wander. Devout Christians, religious philosophers (ok just one, moi), Catholics, and even a minister!

But we wave from the car. We say hello when on our bikes or walking. We gather at Christmastime, and sometimes at the summer picnic. We keep keys for each other, and watch elderly parents when family goes away. We pet sit, and we call around when the power goes out ("Do you guys have power over there?" or "Is your cable working?") We watch for mysterious cars. We drive slowly. We borrow cars and snowblowers and use each other for emergency contacts. We babysit and tutor and teach each other's children.

We're a support system.

And we don't judge. We don't carry on about the small stuff. When I have to close my house up in the summer because it's windy out and your lawn chemical is making me sick (in addition to polluting the lake), I remind myself that my dog sometimes poops in your yard. When I'm blasting my music loudly from the house so I can groove while I weed my garden, I hope that you remember when I cared for your elderly father while you were away. There's just this beautiful, loving, blessed relationship we all share...but it took time.

It took years!

And my guess is that at least half of us would've moved by now, had we not lost nearly 50% of the value of our homes in the past 6 years. We have no choice but to stay, and knowing that, we accept and love and enjoy each other! (No, I don't think this is really a conscious decision, but a phenomenon we subconsciously partake in).

Despite the rush, rush, rush of our daily lives, life truly does progress slowly. Relationships take time and commitment in order to return depth and value. It's true in marriage--my husband and I sometimes joke that it's a darn good thing we got married, because we'd never still be together if we hadn't! LOL! We share that in a loving way, because we're so GLAD we're still together. It's making it through all the highs and lows, and looking back on those that add such richness to our relationship, as well as adding a sense of security that we're in it through thick and thin. And although I haven't exchanged vows with my neighbors, hahaha, we are committed to acceptance, balance, and finding joy in each other, as we are all here for the long haul.

This post is dedicated to the following lovely families on our street: Abdelmessiah, Li, Marr, Tarantino, Byerly, Warn, Mecum, and Rhodes...and the late Tv personality, Mr. Rogers, for never underestimating the value of neighboring, teaching such warmth to our children, and setting a stellar example for us all.

The Cable TV Discussion

Sometimes I really feel like the evil wife.

"I just would like to watch a baseball game now and then!"

This was my husband's plea for cable TV. Part of me wants to cave. The guy works so hard, accepts so much, and asks for so little. Yet I stand my ground.

"It's like crack for the brain!" is my lame retort. He gives me the old you-are-really-overdramatizing-this look. "No, really! It calls to you, like this, 'Come, just come and see what's on TV....' and you're drawn to it." I didn't need to elaborate--he knows what comes next. You spend 15 minutes going through the channels to end up watching Mythbusters or Deadliest Catch re-runs. Yup, good shows, but guess what? They're available on Netflix. You watch them anyway.

Enter: the children. "Aw, you're watching Mythbusters!!!! Can I watch?" Then, before you know it, a commercial comes on for something scary, and the next 5 months are spent leaving lights on at night and discussing how to tame one's imagination, and reassuring your child that they are safe. Next commercial? Some great new show on Egyptian Mythology that's coming on in two weeks. It gets engraved on the internal calendar in the child's head, and you hear about it "coming on in (x) days" for the remainder of the countdown.

Before you know it, husband is asleep in the chair, and the kids have their TV wish list planned out for the next month. Even if you tell them no, they can't watch TV every night for the next eon, the whole scenario repeats itself tomorrow night for the History Channel.

I think I'd rather be evil every few months when the discussion comes up, and keep more quality time intact, then be vile (just an anagram of evil) every night because I'm always competing with programming.

For now, no cable. I'm holding my ground.