What Are Your Rocks? Part 3

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here!

When the Sunday 4 am gong woke me, this time I knew why.  It was time to move the rocks.

What a different experience than Saturday morning's gong!  I knew exactly what was being asked of me and set right to work.  Even though I had laid out my clothes before going to bed in order to answer the call quickly, there were several people out moving the rock pile ahead of me!  I try to quicken my pace, but my legs cry out.  Did I miss the stretching completely, or was it skipped?  Multiple sclerosis always makes walking a little tough for me in the morning due to cramped, tight muscles, but on top of the soreness from the previous day, I am struggling a little extra.  My paces are tiny, as my calves are not cooperating.  They'll loosen up in a bit, I know.

The task goes quickly, and we begin our zazen (sitting meditation--read what zazen is here and join us in zazen at the dojo!).  I have forgotten my zafu and resign myself to getting a wet bottom from the very dewy grass.  The morning is incredibly still.  We can hear so many noises from the wildlife, the distant freeway, and even a horse whinnying on a neighboring farm.  This is my favorite meditation yet, as I feel integrated with my surroundings and easily travel to the place from which miracles come.

After the singing bowl brings us back, we are given the option to continue meditating in the idyllic setting or return to bed.  As wonderful as my meditation was, I am never one to pass up an opportunity for more sleep!  Off I go.

Later that morning, we are listening to Sifu talk to us about the rock exercise.  One of the things I like very much about Sifu's teachings is that he lets us think and find meaning ourselves, with just a little guidance.  Our rock lesson isn't spoon-fed to us.  We each find our own meaning in it.  This technique is so effective because we are all in unique places on our paths with very different experiences and knowledge we're drawing upon.

Sifu challenges us to be accountable for ourselves.  He asks us if it was truly hard getting up at 4 am when we knew others were counting on us?  No, it was not.  It wasn't exactly FUN getting up at that time to do work, but there was never a question of NOT doing it.  As part of a team, I had to carry my weight.  Yet if I were only moving the rocks for myself, as in the parable, and no one was watching or keeping track...would I move them every day?  How long before I would find an excuse to miss a day?

What are your rocks?

I have so many "rocks" to carry on my path to self-mastery, I could build a fortress from them and hide in it.  Some days, that sounds like a pretty good idea!  As I ponder my metaphorical pile of rocks, which one will I be picking up first?  A light, easy rock?  I'll call that rock Laundry or Driving or Dishes.  Those rocks are simple for me to move, and I don't bat an eyelash in moving them without fail.  My medium rocks include Grading, Lesson Planning, Cooking, Exercising.  I carry those rocks well, but there's a little struggle here and there--I sometimes leave them in the pile and carry a smaller rock instead.  And my boulders???  They are why I'm here.  Learning to move them consistently is the lesson for me.  Engraved into these rocks are words and phrases such as Weight Loss, Writing, Cleaning the House, Meditation.  

Besides the task-oriented rocks, I have my character-building rocks I need to move every day such as Self-love, Letting Go, Empathy, Kindness, Charity, Patience.. 

...I could go on for pages.  The pile of 108 rocks we moved so many times this weekend pales in comparison to my own pile.  I plan to work at them every day, giving special attention to the boulders.  In fact, I just got out of bed to write this.  There I was, laying in bed close to sleep when I remembered!  "Oh no!  I didn't move my Writing rock!"  My conditioned response came first, "Well, I guess I missed it today.  Good job, Jules, you went a whole two days."  Yes, my inner voice is often sarcastic!  Then I remembered getting up at 4 am while on retreat, and I knew I had it in me to get my butt out of bed!  After all, it just meant sitting with my computer in a comfy chair--it wasn't like I had to go outside and literally move the rocks!  So it worked, and here I am, feeling proud (smug?) that I made it this third consecutive day.  Going another three days should be no harder; it's merely a matter of determination.  

Actually, this wasn't the first time throughout my day that I faced with decisions about my rocks.  For example, as the evening got late and I wasn't going to be able to start making dinner until 9 pm, I thought about picking up pizza.  I thought of my Weight Loss boulder and my medium Cooking rock, and told myself again, "Gotta move the rocks!" 

It's so much more than just a phrase to me now.  Because of my positive meditations while moving the rocks, I have a new appreciation for the tasks.  I know that sounds strange, and I'm not quite sure how it works myself, but somehow all that gratitude is carrying over into the application.  I'm also thinking of my retreat group, picturing them moving their rocks.  We're no longer together, but it doesn't feel like the distance between us is relevant.  I still feel like I'm being held accountable, and they're counting on me to do my part of the work.  I don't know how long this feeling will last, but it's a really beautiful thing!  I know that my progress and happiness contributes to the oneness of our community.  On a micro level, my husband and children also depend on me to be strong and happy as part of our family unit.  So I'll continue to move my rocks, with gratitude and devotion.

I conclude this series by asking you, "What are your rocks?" Please feel free to share in the comments below.  If not, at least answer the question for yourself!  And when that gong goes off, just do it.  Don't think about it.  You know what is right.  Move the rocks!  No excuses!  Every day, without fail!!!

Namaste.